The Secret to Landing Your First Magazine Cover


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In 2004, living under the canopy of clouds in upstate NY, I used to wonder how models made it to the covers of magazines. It was a mystery to me and seemed like an almost impossible goal. Fast forward 6 years to 2010 and I had landed 12 magazine covers, all without the use of a manager, agent, or outside help. In this article, I’m going to teach you how it was done.

The two basic methods

The first option is to shoot with photographers who regularly get published. Go to a newsstand and pick up the magazine you want to be in. Flip through the pages and see who the photographers are. Next, contact the photographer and set up a shoot with the intention of having your images submitted to that magazine. The photographer may get pre-approval from the magazine to shoot you for a feature, or the photographer may shoot you on “spec.” Shooting on spec means the photographer does the shoot without pre-approval and submits to the magazine anyway, in hopes that they use the images.

The second option, and the one I used most, is to take matters into your own hands. Find the best photographer in your area, shoot the style of pictures you see in the magazines you want to be in, and submit them yourself. Go to the inside few pages of most magazines and look for the email or mailing addresses of the Editor and Chief or Art Director. You can also go to the magazine’s website and usually find the contact information there. Once you have the contact info, start introducing yourself and submitting your photos. I’ve even sent actual prints via FEDEX to art directors. Everyone opens an overnight FEDEX package, right?

Don’t be afraid of “NO”


Photographer: Armond Scipione

For every magazine cover I landed, there were sometimes up to 6 other magazines that passed on the same image. I used to submit a web size sample of my image to several magazines at the same time. Some editors would say no, others would say it’s not the right look, and still others wouldn’t respond at all. However, eventually I would get a YES!  I once sat on an image for a whole year before it was picked up for a cover. I knew it belonged on a cover and I didn’t stop until I got my yes.

As a model, you have to evaluate your goals. Do you want to make small amounts of money from beginner photographers paying you? Or do you have a bigger vision? Would you rather shoot with the best photographers, submit to magazines, and make a name for yourself? That’s where you have an increased chance of getting sponsors, contracts, and/or endorsements. Enlarge your vision.

When I was modelling, I got to the point where I wouldn’t shoot with a photographer who wasn’t up to my standards, no matter how much they paid me. To the contrary, I would seek out the best photographers and I was the one paying them.

Why did I pay the best photographers?


Photographer: Armond Scipione; Model: Tamlyn Cosster

There are several reasons I paid to work with the best photographers.

  • Ability to pick which images are retouched
  • Being provided with both high resolution and web size images. High resolution images are necessary for publication
  • Ability to choose the looks/outfits/locations that I wanted and felt were best
  • Freedom to submit the images on my own to publications

***Always discuss your plans for the images with the photographer before the shoot. Make sure the photographer is ok with you submitting to magazines on your own. The photographers I worked with in the past were always happy to have me submit to magazines because it was more promotion for them.

***Always discuss with the photographer ahead of time the shoot details, such as high resolution images, and any other questions you might have.

Why did I not shoot with just anyone?  Even if they were paying me


Photographer: Armond Scipione;  Model: Karolina Wozniak

You have to protect your image at all costs. Look through the photographer’s portfolio and find their worst image. You could be their next worst image. You have to ask yourself, does the $200 you made from the shoot justify having bad pictures of yourself circulating around the internet forever?

Other disadvantages of doing TFP shoots and some paid shoots:

  • Photographer typically decides which images are retouched (not always)
  • Typically only web size images are given
  • Photographer usually shoots what he/she wants, which may not necessarily be exactly what you had in mind (not always)
  • Often you will have to sign a release that does not allow you to submit you images to magazines

As Robert Greene stated in his famous book, The 48 Laws of Power, “Despise the Free Lunch. What is offered for free is dangerous – it usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation. What has worth is worth paying for. By paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit. It is also often wise to pay the full price – there is no cutting corners with excellence.”

I always found these principles to be true in modeling and in life. So many models refuse to pay photographers and expect to be paid or given a free shoot. In my opinion, they are missing a key step that I used to land 12 magazine covers.

Finding a photographer


Photographer: Armond Scipione

How do you find the right photographer so you have images to submit to magazines?  The simple answer is, you have to find a photographer who gives you a finished product good enough to go directly on a magazine cover. These photographers are few and far between.

After my last cover in 2010, I decided I had accomplished everything I wanted to on the modeling side. I needed a new challenge and I felt there was a gap in the industry. That’s when I began the journey over as a photographer.

Now, as a photographer, I offer my clients everything I used to want when I was a model. I deliver a polished, realistic final product that I feel is good enough to go directly in any magazine.

Please visit my Model Mayhem profile or Facebook page and contact me if you have any questions. I’m always happy to give advice from the lessons I learned over the years.

Disclaimer: The information that I provided above was just my personal experience over the past 8 years in the industry. There are certainly other ways to get published and accomplish you goals. Everyone has different aspirations and there is no right or wrong way. I only want to give others insight into how I accomplished my goals without an agent or manager. 


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An Introduction to Modeling Abroad


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After being chosen as an international Playboy Centerfold three times (Croatia 2010, Singapore 2011 and South Africa 2013), I have found that I often get pigeonholed into a certain genre of modeling. People want to think that glamour modeling is my only area of experience, however, the reality is that I am agency-signed and represented around the world (London, Singapore, Indonesia, South Africa, Malaysia, Australia and America). I have walked runways, been in magazine editorials and catalog shoots from London to Singapore and, at just over 5’9” tall and a size 2, I have been lucky enough to do both fashion and glamour modeling. With extensive experience in both I am able to help aspiring models.

I would like to impart some of my knowledge and personal experience to new models who are thinking of modeling overseas to help them avoid potential mistakes and weigh the pros and cons of modeling away from home.


Model: Maria Eriksson

Research the market

Different markets around the world cater to different types of models and favor some “looks” over others. Before deciding you want to model overseas it would be beneficial to research or seek agency advice on which country suits your look.

For example, most Asian countries favor young, tall, thin, pale Western, as well as Asian and Pan or Euro-Asian, models. You have to have a certain minimum height (usually 5’8”) as well as be certain measurements (usually 34-24-34) to have the “favored look” that does well commercially. That is not to say you cannot work in that country if you are not those measurements or height, but you may not be the most popular working model. I lived in Asia in 2011 and did well despite my agent telling me to stop tanning (I didn’t), or being an average of seven, eight (or sometimes 10) years older than most of the other models. I was tall enough and had the measurements required to still book jobs, which I did frequently. However, it was my breasts that gave me the most issues (a natural E cup is unheard of in most of Asia) so even when my agent had been requested to send “busty” models for castings I was still too busty for a lot of work. Then there are the countries that favor curves and bigger breasts. Busty brunettes with light colored eyes do very well in India. It is like the difference in markets between NYC and Miami – the androgynous look against swimwear bodies.

Do not expect to work in the wrong market. It is not a reflection on you; it is like attempting to get a job in science after earning a diploma in English literature or French. Do not take it personally. The modeling world is full of setbacks.


Model: Maria Eriksson; Photographer TH Taylor

Moving abroad

The next thing to think about is how you are going to get overseas. Is your mother agency sending you to another agent? Or are you willing to get there yourself, risk not being able to work and therefore bear the financial burden upfront? Both are feasible depending upon your personal situation.

If you are successfully signed by an agency that often sends models abroad to sister agencies, then great! It can make life so much easier as there will be someone to guide you, house you with others from your agency, and pay the airfare. However, there are also disadvantages to having your agency send you abroad, so be aware—your mother and hosting agency will most likely take a cut from any jobs you obtain. This could mean losing up to 30% of your wage in fees.  Other disadvantages could also include sharing a room with someone, not getting paid until you return home, and paying back airfare and food costs. This can lull you into a false sense of security and the overall effect of feeling like you earned a lot more than you actually did. (On the plus side, most agency models working overseas get paid to go to nightclubs with free drinks and line jumps.)

If you don’t have an agent, think long and hard about if it is wise to financially risk moving abroad. You will have to pay for your own flight, a place to stay, and food while you hope to find an agent who will give you work and access to work permits. If you have the funds to support yourself, however, modeling abroad can have advantages. You are not beholden to the agent quite in the same way as if your mother agency had sent you over (due to different contractual agreements). Going alone and signing once there with an agent can potentially provide you with more freedom to deny castings or jobs. Signing with an agent once you arrive can also free you of strict contractual obligations if you feel you made a mistake and want to return home. Please note many agents will still drop you for falling out of line, turning down too many castings, putting on weight, etc., so beware. Always read contracts carefully.


Model: Maria Eriksson; Photographer: Fotosbykevin

Visas

I do not recommend going to foreign countries to model without a valid work permit. The difficulty of obtaining a work visa varies by country. Some countries, like Indonesia, only issue work visas for short periods of time (three months roughly), whereas United States-based modeling work permits last longer (two, three, or six years and renewable or permanent).

The costs of visas should be paid by your agency. They may also take that cost out of your future wages too, so be aware that after working for several months you may still owe money to your agent. Other agents may expect you to pay visa costs upfront. If you do, make certain you will recoup the financial loss.

A sponsorship by an agent will most likely be the only successful route to gain employment in a foreign country (and is my only recommended way). Over recent years I have learned through agents in the industry that some Asian countries are making it more difficult to obtain work permits. The United Kingdom and the United States are also notorious for being difficult to obtain work papers.  I know of many models who were deported from the States, United Kingdom and Asia for modeling without the correct paperwork.

My advice is to seek advice from agencies and lawyers as to the situation in each country and how to apply for work permits so you are protected and law abiding. Do not rely on hearsay.


Model: Maria Eriksson

Country diversities

When ready to go overseas, be aware of language barriers, housing issues, cultural differences such as clothing, religions, holidays and celebrations, and of misunderstandings on these topics and laws. One must remember that though these differences can be exciting and stimulating, they can also be scary and frustrating. Be respectful of your host country.

Religion can cause differences with dress codes and day-to-day living that will most likely be different to what you are used to. Things differ from country to country, so read up on where you are going. Be respectful of where you are – especially with religious buildings and holidays.

Cultural differences, even in countries similar to your own, can also take some getting used to. For example, things like siestas in Spain could change the way you are used to living your life. These differences, which may sound like small changes, can be hard to get used to in the beginning.

The obvious and most difficult change is usually a language barrier issue. I will never forget a 16-year-old girl from Uzbekistan I met in Indonesia who spoke neither English nor Indonesian. How hard it must have been for her being away from her family and not really understanding what people wanted of her. Speaking English is a huge advantage in this regard, as most people worldwide do speak some level of English and for that we should feel lucky. However, I must express how wonderful it is to pick up some of the local language. The attempt will be received and appreciated by local people, and will contribute to your personal growth.  My point here is to be prepared for issues in communication.  Even my English accent here in the States causes me no end of issues despite having lived here for over two years, and supposedly speaking the same language.

From my experience, food can most likely be the most major conflict after communication issues, especially for fussy eaters. In Asia I became accustomed to eating rice three times a day, even with curry for breakfast, but I missed cheese, bread and chocolate a lot. However, it is very exciting to go into a foreign grocery store and try new things like seaweed-flavored Pringles (recommended) and a fruit called durian (not recommended). Another important point is to be aware of local water and ice which may upset your stomach and cause sickness.


Model: Maria Eriksson; Photographer: Fotosbykevin

Safety

Your safety should always be a priority. Whether with an agency or not, one must be street smart and know that as a foreigner with your look and behavior,  you stand out more than a local so you are always more of a target for pickpockets and scammers (or worse).

Plan where you are going before you set off on your daily journeys. Know your route, look like you know where you are going even if you do not, and figure out a safe place to stop and regroup if you feel someone may be following you. Never have possessions on display such as money and keep your passport safe.

Be very careful at night and in secluded places like parking lots and watch your drinks if you go into bars.

Also, be aware of scammers and wary of people trying to befriend you. Sometimes people do this in order to gain your trust, only to mug you.  Know the local number to call for emergency services and where the nearest hospital is in case of emergencies.

Before leaving for a foreign destination it is also a good idea to check with your doctor to know if there are any vaccinations required for the country you will be working in.

Other potential safety issues include political warfare and natural disasters. These can happen anytime in any country, really, but they are something to be aware of since some countries could be on the brink of rioting, and civil wars. This could mean they are set to become financially unstable, and thus not a great modeling market, in addition to not being safe places to live and work, or even visit.


Model: Maria Eriksson

Summation

The best thing anyone can do is move overseas on one’s own for at least three months, not knowing anyone or having a secure job. That is very frightening. However, it is also exciting and challenging. It builds character and self-esteem, broadens ones outlook on life and is fun!  I hope that what I have pointed out with a serious view to modelling overseas is useful in avoiding pitfalls.

To summarize, some of the potential drawbacks of modelling overseas are communication issues, expensive flights home in emergencies, homesickness and loneliness. On the plus side, moving abroad for work will bring excitement, adventure, great memories, personal growth, and great potential work opportunities.

I hope this helps and good luck.

Maria Eriksson

Maria Eriksson is a three-time international Playboy centerfold (Croatia 2010, Singapore 2011 and South Africa 2013). She has appeared on magazine covers and billboards, walked in runway shows and appeared in both FHM and Playboy’s Top 100 lists. Maria used to be a high school science teacher and has a Master’s degree. She was born in the United Kingdom but currently lives in Los Angeles, California. She has lived in many countries working as a professional full-time model. Her articles have appeared in magazines around the world. For more information please visit www.mariaeriksson.com.

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 You c me i hate beef, fighting i mean

Living in england there is so much of it

and there jealousy amongst guys when a guy the be walking with a buff girl called ...and be seen! : )

Not me as it is a notion of stupidity as i was friends with a lot of girl

but when there are few like .... you really like and respect

and amongst us are many bad people want you to get in coke and the temptation sell

In western society they say especially the religious elders everyone is corrupt 

In England compared to other countries like saudia arabia there is more freedom to do what you want, but you need to do something else to get what you want, do it the good way

It is how true you are to yourself and stay decent and me I need to c a bit of everything in life and put something in my CV and tell stories that make people happy and make every ones day!

In this world we have many relationships with our brothers and sisters. some which are so different to us, its so complicated, nothing guaranteed to last

So when we have disagreements with our family members husband/wife,mother,sister,brothers, we should see it as a test and let it past

I based my life like like a marriage may be that may be difficult for you to understand, i like my family members but they are off-key different and may not understand your needs and that's why I said I can't see it work

I tell my mum stop screaming at me she won't stop as I become ill every so often because of it, that the way she is and I still have to be safe to her as she is my mum

I looked at your some of your pictures that the life you deserve in your union and I pray that it may continue forever the love of sister in law and mother in law, as you know my name is kalam

A person who aims to make the right intentions, you c it is an ongoing process to reach the status of noble character but you do it for yourself and then to fulfil the obligations to younger siblings and to make sure they are al right

Once you read namaaz 5 times a day everything becomes okay that what happened to me i used to have nightmares no they are gone almost especially as read namaaz sometimes at night

What is the meaning if being religious, I always made sure my intention was right and hoped for the best, i was at uni and they gave me book author to help me with my assignments, i said i must be lucky and they said we all trying to help get the best for you

That was so sweet and so nice as I realised ages ago as well, you cant rely prayer alone, you have make things happen in a peaceful way, what do you think, do you think this is true?

Another things we complain about so much evil in society, but do you observe how big the city is, because of this something is always going on, 

you have two choices(more complicated than that as there more to say) you either live there full of so much people and reach a level of comfort and don't be affected by it or live in a quite place where there is hardly any people and you don't have no problems, what a long poem by a person called kalam hope that you was happy that i was born




 

 

 

Does Tv brainwash you and is it lots of popaganda? Is music bad for you and make you do bad things

Well basically if you listen to music about violence and negativity it will have a bad effect on you. It is the same with tv. You might think you are mature and can resist it however your brain from the best of my knowledge absorbs it and that is dangerous.

We have detox programme for our body to remove toxins. I am thinking and doing more research to find something to cleanse our mind ,make it fresh and away from thoughts that we want to do bad things to people and son on. Difficult though as someone mentioned 11,000 thoughts goes through a persons mind each day, keep you updated

Kalam



skills-means knowledge of a subject 

practical-experience it with the mind and body in other words being in that environment

theory-learning through written tasks, books, tutors etc

Baffled-now you know something that people do not tell you about! 


What is a normal person?

A colleague ask his doctor my brother is normal. He was a mind doctor. He goes what is normal. And then he asks I want to work. The doctor goes if you can hack it. Then he asks one of his friends how do you get used to work. A senior politician it was goes you don't. Then a another top friend goes to him if we had the answer to that we all be rich. And then his friends brother in Law goes to him that the millionaire dollar question.

The conclusion is you have to find your own way to get used to work and understanding what normal person. It from experience found that a normal person is one who reaches the level of a person in that he is communicating with and I mention this as well, the environment s/he is in.


Through many obstacles through the life this person went through many happiness and struggles he overcame and experienced. He therefore wished to pass over's his experiences on to others so they may benefit. Some of the things he has learnt and in this article he hopes that readers will enjoy and make their life so much easier is that he has tried many things and has done research on understanding aspects in our lives tat we wonder why life is difficult. This understanding and research though will not completely remove our problems it is hoped there is some improvement of it and the reader is encouraged to find their own ways to help make their world a much better place.

Many disabilities can be improved through karate lessons such as if you find it difficult to stand in one place for long periods of time attending the suitable karate lessons may improve that.

Also he has done research on what stress is, his opinion stress is how the day goes for a person. There are 24 hours a day and how that day goes can be painful or very difficult. To start of with doing what you enjoy is a most important thing to do and also learning how to manage different aspects of your day as well. This is an ongoing practice and works for some people and we need to find other ways improve on that.

Living in this Earth we encounter many problems and are not fully satisfied. No one can be fully satisfied because your brain does not stop thinking. This may be hard to comprehend and understand but once you achieve that level I hope that you feel more content. But if you find it difficult to understand I advise that you look at other ways on gaining contentment within yourselves as this is quite a sensitive and difficult subject to explain.

You may wonder about jealousy and hatred and enmity and how people thing negative towards you and you may feel those negative emotions within yourselves. The good news is that these are natural emotions within a human being and we should not get too upset if people display these things to us. The best way is to move away from that environment. And when you feel jealousy, enmity or any other negative emotions towards others we should not think we are bad or evil people. More we should try and harness these emotions and let it go. It is more about a person's road to moral perfection which means becoming a better person and understanding how we feel and making sure it does not affect our mental stability.

This is some of the knowledge the writer of the article wishes to give and there are more. So far he has explained what motivates him in his work and the continuous information he is always gaining and learning from around him and passing some of it this article.

The writer of this article's own upbringing was not easy and looked ways of making life easier for his self and went though many experiences and was a seeker of knowledge as a young person and an adult which he shares. For two English people to get along with each other even though one is Hindu and the other one is Muslim may be difficult in some scenarios. The way they will work around that is both of them respecting each others religion and being normal English men. Now we going we discuss about reaching content men in life. Suppose we can never be content however one idea that may benefit the reader is having enough money for survival and building upon that and going through a path of spiritual contentment as a foundation as well so you may not worry about mortality that much.

We all make choices in life and we think we are right or not sure so this bit is about defining what is right and what is wrong. This we have two choices to think about, as all religions teach you to do well and you have law of the country to obey who are to follow? So you need to make an informed decision within these perimeters and take in account other aspects such i.e. you cultures, tradition etc.

We wonder what we gain from not gaining revenge on our enemy. It may be pain full at first, the secret hidden quality is that you become agile and wise and the satisfaction you gain is that life is full of problems so you may not need to get you revenge as in the course of life they done bad and may get bad back for you to observe. I hope this one was not that controversial but I hope my readers will feel a sense of contentment after reading this as it gives them a good excuse not to do bad to a person who had one bad to them

  

 

 

 


In the internet there is so much stuff out there good and bad. What do you differentiate and the best way to utilise this powerful tool used by millions throughout the world. With me I love reading and gaining knowledge about anything and everything. I have learnt for example about learndirect courses. For a moment who might be thinking what does he think is he going to say? I thought this subject is about internet. It is and more. I have a bit of autism which means understanding aspects such as the convections we use in everyday life, how to behave and also I had trouble seeing the world clearly. This course actually made an improvement on this, it was Learndirect English Level 2. I studied all of it and wow I was relieved that it helped me. The lesson I learnt from this is that you may go to the doctor and they diagnose you with a condition and put you on a treatment plan. They maybe correct and have to live with that difficulty for the rest of your life. That does not mean that you can not be improved and have a better standard of life. I think the person needs to do research and find out what would work for them in trying to improve their condition. 


I would at first try things which are free then look at other therapies. Learn direct English may even help with dyslexia. I  completed a Security Guard training with G4S for a Door Supervisor course and that helped me improve my stutter and communications skills, the bit of the course where it talks about how we communicate with each other encoding and sending messages.
One of the most fundamentals aspect of life is the way the world is. You become ill, you go doctor they give stuff to take and you expect to become better. When it does not work you think it is the doctors fault that they done something wrong. Maybe they should have done more. I believe we should try and see the good in everything and if it does not go our way, keep silent and move on without hurting anyone feeling and complaining . The best approach I take would be to take control of your situation and utilise the support there is out there and do your best to get better and try different things. That learndirect course worked for me but may not work for others but it is something to think about. One of my brother complained that the doctor was not treating my mum properly and was getting upset, I said change doctor. Simple solution. Also I used to have much migraines and every time I used to a doctor they gave me headache tablets. That was wrong, I seeked other advice and that helped.


 

Also there are other aspect which is not scientific which I think is good to share. Do you know when we want something or become ill our mum says pray to the person above for. That is good but I found that there is other way's instead of prayer alone. I described it in one of my poems. We need to try and make things happen by doing research, being practical and making things happen in a peaceful way without hurting anyone physically and emotionally. Because of what is bad can be turned into good. For example I had a toilet problems and used to use the toilet too much. It was almost a life destroyer. Tried prayer alone, did not get results, went doctor no good, asked for a second opinion sent me to hospital, no luck after many test, could have said the hospital are not doing things right. Almost gave up, had many meeting with doctor. Eventually they sent me to Ulogy department and done may tests. Don't want to bore you so I get straight to the point. The outcome of the test was overactive bladder syndrome. They were not sure, told me stop fizzy drinks, tea, caffeine etc and put me on bladder medication and to exercise my bladder by holding it as much as I can. The result was it made an alright improvement and I use the toilet less. The moral of the story is if you got nothing to lose don't give up and do not just rely on prayer alone and also you are more than happy to ask me for advice. If I have time I shall do research for you

 What's a gang?

It means many things but a gang and group of people is the same thing. When I grew up there was no gang there was crews and people in the know under their breath said the name of the gang such as 'the circle'. And it changes all the time as people sometimes say his going to school and joining a gang. What is important note as group is the same as a gang, its more complicated than that. The point I am making is that school acts like a social agency where friends and students are integrated into society to learn the values of society and things like the hidden curriculum such as it is every mans for his self, that does not mean you should not have some kind of support network.

The problems get with 'gangs' when they do bad things, it is important to know what is right and what is wrong and sometimes people do not know that properly. That needs to be educated in to them and as the world is full of many problems and the nature of it means there will always direct or indirect pressure and I say obstacles not to good and be bad. It an ongoing struggle within oneself as sometimes the older ones with evil intentions who mind is more advanced manipulated with physical and more in this society mental pressure to join their group and do bad stuff in the context that is good.

There is also in many group gang mentality and that can be not a bad thing only when it lead to violence and mischievousness. That means  that group is drawn to violence and dangerous talk when talking to group members and outsiders. The output is when members or outsiders make a mistake there is chance they will get hurt. The language is English but in a different context.  

Some people think being of a gangster or Don comes fame and privileges. In some ways it true but if you want fame and privileges and you pursue it in a different way such being top of class and go reach a level of overall comfort that is such as good. There is always you will be danger that you are messed up both ways and that is better to be 'bad' because of the buzz. 

 

 Girlfriend and boyfriend

Some people like being in a relationship and some  people do not go out with boys and girls. The feeling of being in relationship is still great


Anger
Are people who are angry in society on the same level as the once in Prison. Everyone deserves a fair chance and the way the world is the pressures that a person faces is tough. Than can make a person angry and volatile. So how do you justify yourself as being a good person with a sound mind? As what happens when a person shows his the knight in armour when he sees a girl, proposes the family thinks his the one and when after a while he shows his true colour, nightmare scenario happen and acts violent and weird. How can he justify this actions and what is the reason for this behaviour? 

Being Happy

Being content is a desire everyone wants to achieve. I think if you have some kind of foundation maybe such as believing in something, for some it can be religion and following that no matter how the situation is with a person and building upon that. As the way the brain is no one can be fully satisfied no matter how content or discontent you are.
Know what the difference is between good and bad actions. As when you go for the path of doing bad actions it becomes part of you and is hard to change. If that happens you need to be top of things and get help and say that's it got to fix up and not be wrapped in that world. For example if you are drug dealer and you say to your self once I make enough money I shall stop. But you find that the phones does bot stop ringing, you are better of making that much money than you are working legitimate as if you do not enjoy the legitimate job it is very hard to make money that way. The temptation may be too great and think 'just choose this way of life'. Once more dangerous is that you have to be aware that facing the law you end up being messed up both ways.
The way to sort this out is to take control of the situation block your mind and get help to a scenario that you are comfortable doing things right.
Some people have religion as a foundation and practice it much as they possibly can to the best of their ability and if they get in the situation when they are alone that protects them from being alone and something to live for when loved ones die such as close friends and they have to look for a new community to be part of. Hard at first nothing to look backwards, just by having that religion as a foundation and getting on with you face more obstacles but general feeling of contentments.
That what happened to Asian communities when our elders , uncles had come to England as immigrants for a better life. They were alone and had no one, were well religious and decent people. Worked hard and only had a little family and few friends such as only restaurant people to hang about with and the onces they met from Bangladesh. It was hard work but there was great community and happiness amongst them because they had religion and a few friends. Not like us when we was young competing against our fellow who has more friends. Sometimes it is all in the mind I think. The few once we can rely are most important. Hope my readers understand what am getting at and hopefully there will be less change we end up like that Ed Gien. I do not want sound bad but he should have some kind of foundation and look at some community to enter and try and go to a path of moral perfection and he would not be like the way he was. Of course it is not easy and is an ongoing struggle but there is something in our mind we have to switch .

Normal

A person asked the definition what is normal person. The reply is what is Normal? How do you know that you are a high class person who has high pedigree. I think the conclusion you don't you just have to hope for the best that you behave appropriately in the environment you are in. Usually it gets defined how good your character is and other aspects as well.